Conclusions

I suppose the question is, why am I telling you about Cal, the OTGA? Maybe because I think it’ll help you to get me. Losing Cal had the most profound effect on me. I went from being one of the guys, someone he could have a laugh with, to – frankly – a complete psycho.

I’m not proud of it. I used to get drunk every evening and call him, repeatedly, leaving unintelligible messages on his machine. I texted him constantly. I hacked into his email and read it, constantly, torturing myself with the thought he might be with someone else. Gradually, he ensured that our shifts at the shop no longer coincided. He stopped coming on work nights out…who can blame the boy, when I was more than likely to get drunk and then follow him through the streets, screaming that we were meant to be together.

I did that.

It took me ages to get over him. Long after I left the shop, found myself a different job, I was still hacking into his hotmail – in fact, him changing his password was the only thing that stopped me. It was torture, but an exquisite kind of pain. He split up with his girlfriend not long after I left; he moved jobs too, and now he manages a café in a different town. Before my email monitoring stopped, I saw that he’d had flings with at least three of his staff. I think he’s seeing one of them now. I hope he’s happy. I am, and that’s the best revenge.