Nothin' Sweet About Bee....

Sorry...that title's been scratching at my head for ages, had to come out eventually. Which is particularly annoying since the song that inspired it is one of the most inane, annoying songs of the year. But it's done now.

Luke is always telling me how sweet I am. I suspect this is largely because I am so small. I also have a tendency to become quite childish when not getting my own way - fortunately for me this makes him laugh, and not strangle me with my own hair.

However, there is a difference between being superficially sweet - pink Tshirts, blonde hair, pouty lips - and being properly sweet. Sweet on the inside. That is definitely not me.

There follows a list of things that are definitely not "Sweet about Bee". Try not to judge me.

1. I am the most selfish person you will ever meet. I rarely do anything for altruistic reasons; I never give money to charity, I rarely put money into the envelope for leaving presents at work, I don't bother spending time with people unless absolutely necessary. I prefer my own company - I don't judge myself.
   
   
2. I never phone anyone. I never call my mum, or my dad; I absolutely never call friends for a chat. More often than not, if someone is calling me 'just for a chat' and for no specific purpose, I will reject the call.
   
   
3. I am a kleptomaniac. I steal things because I can. Usually, things I don't even want, or need - a mascara from a bathroom at a party, a cheap Topshop bracelet from a friend's bedroom. Nothing high value - that's not the point - it's more a sense of entitlement. Why should they have what I don't. Never mind that I could easily go out and buy it for myself.
   
   
4. I have cheated on every partner I have ever been with. Except Luke. I plan to keep it that way, but it's not a very good record.
   
   
5. I am incredibly lazy. I read about all these women that want to further their career, do something to improve the world - or at least their world - and all I want to do is sleep, go on holidays, drink cocktails. I couldn't give a monkeys about my job - or any other job.
   

I could go on, but I think the picture is becoming clear. Ok, so I'm an obnoxious, horrible, lazy slob. And your point is...?

(Oh, and in a happy footnote, it seems you can ignore my last post because the lovely Mimi appears to be writing again...thank god for indecisiveness.)